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Inner Team Dialogue

ITD Practitioner Program

Handouts, Videos and Assignments for each session can be accessed through the links on this page. 

Character Identification, Inner Team Principles

Insiders Assessment, The Inner Critic

Outsiders, Ambivalence, Facilitation Process

The Guardians; Protector and Trusting

Facilitation practice: Pusher and Being

Facilitation practice: Pleaser and Boundaried

Facilitation practice: Perfectionist and Messy

Facilitation practice: Responsible and Playful

Facilitation practice: Rational Mind and Feelings

Client education and contracting

Session1
Inner Team Dialogue

ITD Practitioner Program
Session 1

The Inner Team and its Characters

Pre-Session 

  • Watch the pre-work videos and download the Field Guide to the Inner Team (you can find them here

Session One Agenda

  • Introductions and intention setting

  • The Seven Principles of the Inner Team

  • Learning to observe your characters

  • The Separation 

Homework to complete before Session 2

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Problems accessing any of the handouts, videos or course materials? Let Paul know

Session2
Inner Team Dialogue

Session 2

Insiders and the Inner Critic

Pre-Session Action Items

Session Agenda

  • The Insiders Assessment

  • The Principles of the Inner Team 

  • The Protective role of Insiders

  • The Inner Critic's role on the Inner Team

Post-Session Exercises and Reflections

  • Choose one of your Insiders to observe this week. See if you can notice when it shows up, and what it has to say. Notice what it thinks is dangerous, and what it wants to keep you from doing. 

  • When you notice your Insider, see if you can find a space of appreciation for the ways in which it is protecting you. Offer it a little bow of gratitude. Pay attention to what happens in you - emotionally and somatically - when you find this place of appreciation. 

  • BONUS ASSIGNMENT: If you notice your Inner Critic getting activated this week, see if you can tune into the moment of vulnerability which preceded it. What was the fear which popped up? 

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Session3
Inner Team Dialogue

Session 3

Ambivalence, ITD Facilitation Process

Pre-Session Preparation

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  • Download the "Who Bugs You?" worksheet. Have it available for today's session.

  • Download and review the Facilitation script.

    • ​Please have this script available during the session, either electronically or printed.

Session Agenda

  • Recap of terminology and principles

  • Stages of the Inner Team: when the Inner Leader is absent

  • Facilitation conventions

  • Demonstration of ITD facilitation process

Post-Session Exercises and Reflections

  • No homework this week. 

  • Take the time to get a head start on week 4 preparations. 

Session4
Inner Team Dialogue

Session 4

Protector and Trusting

Session Four Preparation​

Optional Materials

Session Agenda

  • Meet Protector and Trusting characters

  • Practice facilitating a character

  • Explore the mechanics of moving between characters in a single session

Post-Session Exercises and Reflections

  • Observe your Protector this week, noticing when it activates, and what it flags as threatening. Thank it for protecting you (the inner bow of appreciation). 

    • Try this in familiar environments (the grocery store, a room in your house) or with familiar people (friends, colleagues). Then try it in an unfamiliar environment too, or when interacting with a stranger. See what information comes to light.  

  • Practice connecting with Trusting (internally, or through journaling). Ask your Trusting character for its perspective on a problem you are currently facing, such as a relationship in your life that isn't where you'd like it to be. Then check in with your Protector about the same issue or concern. See what you notice in their perspectives.

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Problems accessing any of the handouts, videos or course materials? Let Paul know

Session5
Inner Team Dialogue

Session 5

Pusher and Being

Pre-Session Materials 

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Optional Material: 

  • Read the New York Times Article on the Nap Ministry

  • Listen to Cheryl Wheeler's tongue-in-cheek ode to the Inner Critic/Pusher combo:  Unworthy

  • Hal and Sidra Stone audio lecture on Pusher and Being (below)​

Session Agenda

  • Explore Pusher and Being characters

  • Discuss Pusher variations ​

  • Discuss the variations of the Being character

  • Explore the mechanics of moving between opposite characters during a session

Post-Session Exercises and Reflections

  • Observe your Pusher: when you sense that your Pusher is activated, pay particular attention to your body, and notice what you feel. And since this is the Pusher we're talking about, notice any resistance to slowing down and noticing! 

  • Think through the coaching goals your current and past clients have chosen. Look at these through the lens of Pusher and Being. What do you notice?

Session6
Inner Team Dialogue

Session 6

Pleaser and Boundaried

Pre-Session​ Preparation

Watch the Pleaser and Boundaried overview (11 minute video) and/or read pp. 17-21 of the Field Guide 

Optional Materials

  • A conversation with a recovering Pleaser   -  an interview with attorney Allie Moore, describing the journey towards balancing Pleaser/Boundaried. 

  • Audio Lecture from Hal and Sidra Stone - The Pleaser (below)

Session Agenda

  • Explore Pleaser and Boundaried

  • Contrast personal, relational energies with impersonal, contained energies

 

Additional Resource

Script: Inner Leader guided action planning

Post-Session Exercises and Reflections

  • Pleaser Reflection: notice where you say yes (or feel a pressure that you should say yes) when you mean no. What's the somatic sensation when you notice this pressure? See if you can notice the vulnerability underneath this: what is the vulnerable part of you afraid will happen if you say no? 

  • Boundaried Reflection: See if you can identify a moment in which you have the impulse to withdraw, disengage or pull back from a relationship. What's the somatic sensation that accompanies this impulse? Notice what your vulnerable part is afraid will happen if you stay engaged in that relationship. In retrospect, see if you can identify a boundary which you have not yet communicated to this person. 

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Problems accessing any of the handouts, videos or course materials? Let Paul know

Session7
Inner Team Dialogue

Session 7

Perfectionist and Messy

Inner Team Dialogue Image
Perfectionist and Messy Go to the Beach  (Photo credit: Tracy Burke)

Pre-Session Materials 

Session Agenda

  • Meet and experience Perfectionist and Messy

  • Recognize the indicators that this pair is impacting a client's goals

Post-Session Exercises and Reflections

  • Pay attention this week to the Perfectionist's pattern of repeated editing, revising, tweaking and second guessing. When you notice any of these manifestations of working hard to make something perfect, thank your Perfectionist, and see if you can tune into the vulnerability that it's protecting. What does your vulnerable part fear might happen if your work isn't perfect? 

  • Invite Messy to take charge of an activity over the next couple of days. For example, let Messy pick out your clothes one morning, or prepare some food, or create something. Notice how this feels. See if you can stay present with Messy as an ally, even if your Perfectionist and Critic have something to say. 

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Problems accessing any of the handouts, videos or course materials? Let Paul know

Session8
Inner Team Dialogue

Session 8

Responsible and Playful

Pre-Session​ Preparation

Read p. 27-31of the field guide, and/or watch the Responsible and Playful video (7 minutes)

Optional Reading Materials ​

Session Agenda

  • Explore the adult/child polarity within Responsible/Playful

  • Practice facilitating by matching the energy of a character

Post-Session Exercises and Reflections​

  • Identify at least three roles you play in your life which are important to you (e.g. parent, friend, spouse, employee, business owner, neighbor etc). For each of these three roles: 

    • Make some notes about what you feel responsible for, commitments you have made, obligations you take seriously. Notice how you feel as you bring your attention to this. 

    • Next, connect with the playful part of you. Imagine you gave your Playful character full permission to show up in this role. What impulses, inspirations or thoughts come up? Notice the feelings/somatic sensation which these generate for you. 

  • Consider an area of your life that is feeling flat, uninspiring, routine, or dull. See if you can identify any ways in which your Responsible character may be involved. Ask your Playful character what to do to revitalize this area of life. 

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Session9
Inner Team Dialogue

Session 9

Rational and Feeling

Pre-Session Reading Materials 

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Optional Resources

Session Agenda

  • Explore the ITD perspective on the polarity of head and heart

Post-Session Exercises and Reflections

  • Identify an area of your life where you make decisions largely based on intuition or emotion, where you allow your heart and gut to lead. Invite your Rational character to comment, share its point of view on those decisions. 

  • Now flip the script, and take an area of life where you make decisions rationally, based on evidence and data (commonly areas like managing money, or certain products/services you buy). Invite your Feeling character to offer its point of view on those decisions. 

Problems accessing any of the handouts, videos or course materials? Let Paul know

Session10
Inner Team Dialogue

Session 10

Contracting, Client Education and ITD Integration

Preparation for Final Session

  • This final session will explore additional methods to integrate ITD into your coaching practice. As our practice session, we will be working in groups of three on approaches to the contracting conversation: how you introduce ITD to your client, educate them on key elements, and create working agreements about using this approach to support your client's desired outcomes. 

  • For this activity to work, please bring a current, authentic goal of yours to share with your practice partner(s). It doesn't have to be big or dramatic, but it does need to be a goal that's important to you, and feels challenging (maybe even a bit scary). 

  • We'll also be exploring hesitancy about bringing ITD into a coaching session. If you've noticed yourself hesitate to offer this work to your clients, please come ready to share. 

  • Also, there will be an open forum time to bring forward questions about ITD.

  • And finally, we'll look back on the learning of the past ten weeks, to reflect on what's changed in you, as a person and as a coach, as you've explored ITD. 

Optional Reading Materials 

Post-Session Actions

​Complete this brief post-program survey. Thank you in advance for your feedback!

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